Monday 11 March 2019

Will this last forever or is there hope?

I recently met up with a few ex colleagues of mines for a catch up to discuss the past, present and future as us humans tend to do after a degree of separation. The gathering was joyous and that palpable feeling of genuineness led to a wonderful farewell or better yet an authentic see you soon. Now somewhere between alcoholic consumption and of course professing my undying love for cheese as I scoffed down a very cheeeeeesy pasta platter my mind drifted off to the land of "soons". I started to realised that SOON our lives will not be tied to this area, SOON we will all have left the job, SOON we might not even remember this moment or better yet it would be a memory being shared 5 years from now when we reunite once more. This tiny moment of escapism probably lasted only 10 seconds in reality but in my mind I felt like Scrooge being escorted through time for almost 4 hours. I saw how much we had all changed in the short time we had gotten to know each other. Then everything flashed forward years later and I was seated around a fancy table once more, surrounded by aged faces but a lot of great elements being endured now, still exist: the same adorable laughter, crazy joy and a sense of genuine appreciation for each other's journey; and a sense of mutual respect; and mutual understanding; also in a strange way love. It felt like deja vu. During the course of our goodbye it felt as though a selected few wish we would maintain this relationship forever. Then I had to ask myself what does forever truly mean because the fact that I was a part of this wonderful moment means it'll forever be in my heart and more importantly my history and that's more than enough for me. But given the chance who wouldn't like the opportunity to relive a spectacular moment in the presence of great company over and over again especially in a life filled with so much misery.

I think a part of me forgot how adamant I always felt about treating every moment as though they could never be replicated because the truth about is IT CAN NEVER BE REPLICATED. I will never be leaving this job again, and even if I do for whatever reason it will never be the same faces and personalities being left behind, hell this lovely restaurant we're dining in for example might not be here 2 years from now. It begs the question are we truly LIVING in every moment or are we hoping by some sheer miracle this moment would bless our eyesights again and we can have a second shot at a joke or two that was overlooked? Are we living for the now or dwelling on forevers is the question? Should we be hoping for soons or making sure that everything is said and done in this very moment? Can we accept that the past has passed and we can only try to make things better not change what's already been written?

I guess all I'm saying is the next time you're in the midst of laghter or drowning in the abyss of sadness appreciate you're able to feel and understand you have the power to choose how you react. And somewhere between your third or sixth glass of your favourite red or white appreciate that you're able to taste. Just start to appreciate! See the one thing I have learned from this little erratic complicated bastard we call life is that whether you've been dragged beyond the incomprehensible borders of heartbreak or find yourself wandering the beautiful land of euphoria there's always a lesson to learn. I find that the lesson usually is "you don't get to choose what affects you but you do get to choose how to react which means you have a modicum of control over your growth as an individual", APPRECIATE THAT!!!

Forget beauty, "hope" lies in the eyes of the beholder. Whenever you're faced with the bad ask yourself will this last forever... If your answer is yes then asked yourself have I always felt like this... I can say with 100% certainty there's no way you can say yes to that last question, so if your answer is no then all you have to know is that if things changed for the worse then it can certainly change for the better. But if you said YES to that question then in the words of Harvey Milk (BLOODY LEGEND) “THERE IS HOPE FOR A BETTER WORLD, HOPE FOR A BETTER TOMORROW”, so start believing! And to all those people that sees a fellow neighbour suffering, don’t ignore them because we all need each other if we’re going to create “a better tomorrow”.

Ps. To the soul that asked me last week given the chance would I like to see where I am 5 years from now - the answer is no because making the most of every second right now matters far more than where I will be 5 years from now; also, why would I want to jeopardise my strong will to hope *wink*! CHEERS TO A BETTER TOMORROW GOOD FOLKS!!! KEEP HOPING AND HELPING!!!

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