Dear Mom,

I feel like this is something I have to write because if anyone knows how bad I am at verbally expressing anything it’s you, so here it is in writing.

Early this year, I found myself lying down and I was thinking about everything that happened over the past decade and I realize how much I accomplished and how far I came and truth be told I didn’t expect to achieve all that, not even close. At one point, I thought with everything we’ve been through as a family, I had to do a lot of things for you and the little one you blessed us both with and so I became this person that you didn’t even recognize and no matter how hard you tried I just decided to shut you out and so you felt it was just best to be grateful for the side of me you do get see. I decided this year to just stop for a while and try to see how it felt to do something for me for once and I understand now that it was extremely selfish to think that, especially after everything that took place last year but I want you to know that I’m sorry because when it comes to us three there’s no room for selfishness - of all people I should know that. Sometimes I feel like I hurt you more than I hurt myself and honestly speaking that scares me.

I never told you but I always admired everything about you growing up. You have so much faith, confidence, ambition, courage, strength, you’re humble, hard-working, fair, loving, honest, down to earth, loyal, one in 69 trillion and unbelievably beautiful (still got the best looking eyes this planet has seen for the past 60 centuries) and I thought with qualities like that how could someone be so selfless and still have such a big heart and not be vain or manipulative - I thought if you weren’t an angel then who was. We’ve been through a lot these few years and if I’m honest I found out you’re more human than I thought and I thank God every day because I saw the lengths you were willing to go to get what you want and I decided I was going to do whatever necessary to get what I want too. Right now I wish I could say you grew me up to be a man we could both be proud of but I can’t, at least not yet; however, I can say I’m going to do you proud though, that I swear. I’m a very capricious person, you are one of three people in the world that’s witness that first-hand and I thank you for everything you’ve done for me under the circumstances. I know that’s not something you hear from me enough but thank you never seems enough to me, but I really appreciate everything - absolutely everything.

You taught me that I’m different and that’s something I have to be proud of, it’s not worth hiding. You taught me that I’m blessed and whether or not I like it or know it I was born to make a difference and giving up is not even worth thinking about. You always said everything you do is for your two children and I’ve seen that's true every day through your actions and that has taught me to be a man of my word. Everything you’ve done defines strength and you've done it as a single mom, so believe me when I say there’s no one else in this world I respect more.

You always said think about the far future, don’t really focus on tomorrow and I’ve always lived by that; well, see the future has a lot in store for us, changes you can’t even imagine, I’ve seen it! The good thing is the one thing our triangle has always been good at is bouncing back so starting now ma, let’s do what we’re good at and start moving and striving again. Just remember you always said “we’re survivors and in Jesus name we already made it” – right now we’re just filling in the blanks. I know after everything you can’t help but worry about me but try to worry less, remember I’m your kid, I’m not planning on letting anything or anyone stop me from getting what’s mine in this life, neither is your little daughter – trust me. I love you and my remarkable chubby sister, more than you know.

Love,

One of Your Many Blessings

P.S. Ann-Fernee I know you would kill me if I did not give you a shout out so baby sis, there you go, so like you always say CHEERS TO OUR TRIANGLE!!!