“You always used to say I should be thankful for everyday…I just
can't believe you're gone, still waiting for morning to come, wanna see if the
sun will rise even without you by my side… I know I'll see you again, I'm sure.
No, it's not selfish to ask for more, one more night, one more day, one more
smile on your face… I thought our days would last forever but it wasn't our
destiny 'cause in my mind we had so much time but I was so wrong… They can take
tomorrow and the plans we made, they can take the music that we'll never play, all
the broken dreams take everything, just take it away but they can never have
yesterday… Now
I can believe that I can still find the strength
in the moments we made” – Leona Lewis (Song: Yesterday).
I don’t know the right things to say when it comes to
sorrow; I've never been the comforting type, but I know if I tell you things
will get better and one day all the hurt and pain you feel will slowly fade and
you’ll eventually know when it’s right to move on and all those wonderful
things, I’d feel as though I’m a hypocrite, despite the great degree of truth
it holds. I think in times of grief it’s best you allow yourself to embrace
everything you feel, absolutely everything because holding everything in only
hurts more and whether or not you know it grief has its own way of catching up
with us eventually.
Someone once said when a wound is fresh all sense of
morality & care disappears and I believe that’s true. I also feel that
similar to a wound there’s these little things you need to do before you cover
it up and hope it heals. The path grief takes you down is unthinkable sometimes
but the road you travel when you ignore dealing with it is rough, tiring,
painful and often revengeful. I think in our hearts we make these little plans
and sometimes life has this dreadful way of turning our expected tomorrows into
yesterdays. I say grieve, mourn your loss, despite what others think or feel
you should do, it doesn't matter it’s your life and I say when or if you’re
ever ready to move on and I hope you will be then you go ahead and do so. In
the meantime I’ll leave you with this…
“You’re grieving for the future and all the plans and dreams
you had in your head and now that’s all gone. There’s a wonderful saying - you
have to give up the life you've planned, to find the life that’s waiting for
you. All our lives we – we grow by giving up things, by loss and, and moving
on, big things, little ones, how we handle those losses really defines who we
are… You have to be able to hear what’s next in your life, what path you might
want to travel down.” - Brothers and Sisters (Series 5, episode 5).
Take it from me grieve but give yourself a chance, listen to
your heart, believe in time things will get better and when it’s time to move
on do so. It doesn't mean you’re giving up on your past, it just means you’re
willing to give the future a chance; it means you’re willing to give yourself a
chance at – happiness or something else.
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