Life grants some of us the pleasure of finding someone that blows us away in more ways than we can count. The first few interactions (dates or not) between you both feels fresh, hopeful and destined, in the words of Carrie Bradshaw, not verbatim may I add, it's as though your "personalities are having the best throwdown you've ever experienced" - every conversation seems like foreplay but before the threshold of forever or any mention of till death do us part can be uttered, carnal expectations must be met. Which brings us to the realm of great sexpectations: if the chemistry between y'all are fantastic in every locations outside the bedroom then you would expect even the matress to be WOW-ed but what if that is not the case. I guess the question I'm asking is what if every box has been perfectly ticked but the sexual energy is so cold it fails in comparison to the heat of your smokin' fantasies, do you immediately throw in the towel or fight for sweat, fire and screams!
A lot of folks would conclude the
chase for that "va va voom ectasy high" should matter less as you progress in age. I keep hearing Wendy William's voice gladly professing young people should not settle for bad sex, kick your other half to the curve, but I don't think this should be decided on the basis of age especially if you're monogamous and have been for some time. In my opinion, that's saying it's ok for people above a certain age to settle for bad, sad sex (hahha) because they should feel too old to chase butterflies again or simply feel a forced sense of "contentment" in the sexual department as long as fulfilment is reached emotionally. HELL NO! I think as humans we have become accustomed to "waiting for the other shoe to drop" because we're so sure that perfection doesn't exist, we're forgetting that we can work towards acheiving perfection or at least as close to it as possible. SETTLING SHOULD NEVER BE THE CASE. YOU CAN ALWAYS WORK TOGETHER TO MAKE SURE FULFILMENT IS MET IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE BY DISCUSSING THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM. DISCUSS! If you're uncomfortable by the thought of having this conversation then use that miserable and unsatisfied feeling that stems from your recent "crappy sex ride", to feul you into a confession because change is needed! If this is someone you want around for a long time then I say train a fool to get it right "your style". Even confess some hidden naughty kinks to see what may or may not manifest - ain't a thing to be ashamed of, you're just expressing what you like.
Listen, if the relationship takes a turn for the worst after this conversation then you dogded several bullets by heading for the exit because if this person isn't capable of sticking out small battles such as this one then how can your partnership survive the sickening trials ahead. Look on the bright side, on one hand, you helped brought realization to another individual and you gave yourself peace of mind knowing you didn't throw in the towel easily - you tried! Now go out there and FIND SOME MIND BLOWING HIT THE SPOT, TOE CURLING, "YES YES YES!" SEX, cause let's face it after all the bad experiences you've suffered YOU DESERVE IT! Not to mention in a life like this, we all need a damn great release from time to time or at least one to reflect on in this life!
Almost forgot, if you're the one on the recieving end of this unpleasant conversation, put your ego aside and listen, take notes and respond favourably. At the end of the day sex is about mutual pleasure, if you're being given tips, then you're not being rejected just being probed for upgrade - SO UPGRADE, you may be very very pleasantly surprised by the outcome. And guys don't be scared to express this to your lady, they do it to us guys all the time - we all got needs.
