Sometimes at night when the entire world goes silent and sleep is nowhere in sight I sit and ponder, mostly on the trivial things : the clothes I'm rocking in bed as I write this, should I change my toothpaste brand or better yet my toothbrush, am I inspired to write another blog post - it's the little things. I hope you see my conundrum with the latter because once that question has been asked, the floodgates then opens to several others, such as am I inspired to write, what should I write about, do I have a pen, pencil or paper close by or can I actually be bothered to go through the hassle of opening a computer. Ohhh god I just gave you a little sneak peak into the mind of a writer... You're most welcome! But on a more serious note it's the little things that tend to spark a lightbulb and motivate my fingertips to tap away. Somewhere between questioning my common taste in toothpaste brands and weighing the likelihood of becoming the first Black actor to play James Bond, I wondered about my health and my lifestyle choices. I ask myself, did I mean the things I said in regards to making healthier lifestyle choices or am I waiting for a health scare, can I force myself to be motivated prior to being in dire need. I tend to wonder why I'm still complaining about reverting to this "I'll start tomorrow" mentality and not making the most of my current situation when I'm not currently doing the absolute most to change my mindset/approach. I also tend to wonder if I'm writing enough haha, I can't afford for my pen to go hungry, he acts very differently if I don't attend to his appetite rather quickly hahaa.
Anyway back to the nightly tales. While I'm in bed most nights I can hear the sound of trains speeding by in the distance and it dawned on me I've actually lived in a lot of houses that has provided the same experience and it's never occurred to me how little I gave a fuck. I'm not really referring so much to the noise but of the lives of people in transit. I was once this kid that loved to roam (especially late at night) and I really enjoyed a train journey, especially the awkwardly silent ones in London, it gave me time to contemplate on my life, formulate strategies to success and simply focus on my art, so the lives of my fellow travellers was a far thought from my mind. I became a transit writer at one point in my life - the trains just brought so much inspiration to my bones. I feel public transport gives us all a different outlook on things, really makes us differentiate what type of character we are from what type of character we think we are. For example, are you the type that crave socializing or are you more focused on simply getting from point A to B without disturbances, are you claustrophobic, can you handle crowds; and can you cope under peak time pressures; and are you generous to beggars; and are you kind enough to squash yourself to fit at least one more individual onboard; and are you succeptible to the unconscious invasive influences of ad trafficking; and are you willing to help others in a crisis or do you prefer to stand there videoing their distress; will you give your seat up for someone in need... It all begs the question who are you really? Like I said before, it's the little things.
I bring this up because our characters and decisions are shaped by the simpliest of moments, despite how minute that moment seem. I realised all this simply by hearing a train passed by but tomorrow I may hear one and make a decision never to live in close proximity of one ever again because I've exceeded their need for inspiration and now they're simply a source of irritating white noise. Who knows. It's strange how life works isn't it? There's so much you can't control but there's so much to learn about yourself in everything going on around you and in every experience you endure. I guess I brought this up to say mindfulness is key to growth. If you find out that you fail to reflect the character you thought you are or hoped you'd be by now then it's ok. You just have to remain mindful that change and growth work on their own accord and comes at the RIGHT TIME, they may not adhere to the stopwatch you set for them. Obvious right? But I guess we just get carried away in the furious waves of "I want it now, NOW!" we seem to overlook the obvious. I think it helps to remember the universe has taken you this far for a reason, you must have some effect on what's yet to come, so why not remain positive, hopeful and explore all the doors that opens along the way whether you intended for them to open or not and enjoy the silly little things such as the loud screech of a halting trains, or the sight of a map, or a glass of wine along the way, they will remind you you're alive and so are your senses, so indulge! You never know, the sound of a train might spark a new profession, the sight of a map might spark a travelling frenzy and a glass of wine may lead to you wanting to become a wine connoisseur. Real difference seldom stems from doing the absolute basic things like focusing on work or spending time with great friends after a bad break up and when you least expect it waalah - CHANGE appears! Just remember to enjoy the little perks of life while trying to grant yourself the more extravagant things it has to offer because moments and opportunities tend to pass rather quickly.
